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When you own your own business, or provide a service, it seems almost natural that your friends and family would come to you for advice. As a freelancer, I am frequently asked for help on a number of items. And, while I am willing to read over school essays for my siblings, or help a friend with his graduate school application, I am rarely willing to do work for hire for friends and family.

Why? Because things can get messy. Your friends and family may expect discounts. Or, because you have a personal relationship, they may be very slow in paying, not realizing that your time really is money. You don’t want to pester your friends and family for money, but, well, you do need to be paid for your time. There are dozens of issues that can crop up when you work for friends and family.

Business tends to come in between relationships. Friends and relatives often expect a little more from you. And, while that might be understandable, the cold, hard truth is that you might not be using your time efficiently when you work cut-rate for others like that. You want to be helpful, but at the same time, you don’t want to be taken advantage of.

Setting Boundaries

Because I don’t want my relationships ruined, I set clear boundaries when I help friends and family. I make it clear to friends and family that I’m willing to help, but not do everything. Because I’m not going to charge for the work. And I make it clear that if they want my help on smallish projects, they need to notify me several days before whatever it is they want help with is due. I’m not going to read over your term paper the night before it’s due, or give you a crash course in blogging the day you want to start. Period.

Because my friends and family know what to expect, so far my wishes have been respected. I have even said flat out that I don’t work for friends and family, but I am willing to give some help, and maybe some advice, free of charge. As long as you are clear and consistent in this practice, you can avoid the pitfalls that come with working for love ones.

If You Decide to Work for Friends and Family

Many people try to make it work with friends and family. This is laudable. But if you want your relationship to stand a chance of succeeding, you will have to treat this business transaction like a, well, business transaction. The first thing you need is a contract. Get our the standard contract or agreement you use with all of your other clients. You might provide your services as a discount, but you still need it all documented.

Set up a payment plan. If you are working on something big for a friend or family member, ask for part of the money up front. Again, make it clear that you are engaging in a business arrangement. If you are doing work for friends and family, this is one of the boundaries that you need to be clear about. Unfortunately, no matter how much you may try to keep the business relationship separate from the personal relationship, they will inevitably begin to mix.

Referring Family and Friends Elsewhere

One way to be helpful and still avoid working for loved ones is to refer them elsewhere. Steer your friends and family to reputable colleagues in your line of work that you can trust. Be up front and tell your friends and family that you have a strict policy, or that you aren’t taking on any new projects, and then refer them to someone who is reasonably priced and who can do just as well.

Your friends and family may be a little miffed at first, but if you are consistent in your policies, they will eventually get over it. And you won’t have your relationship strained when business and money matters come between you.